UUGHH HERE iT GOES:

*HE DOESNT CARE && YET IM STILL WASTING MY TIME ON HIM

*I LOVE WHEN YOU HAVE PLANS WITH A FRIEND && THEY DONT EVEN BOTHER CALLING TO LET YOU KNOW THEY CANT MAKE IT

*I'VE BEGUN THIS NEW HABBIT WHERE IF IM MAD OR SAD I NEED DUNKIN DONUTS//STARBUCKS

*SCHOOL'S DIFFICULT. I HOPE I DONT FAIL LIKE LAST YEAR

*MY BEST FRIEND IS SICK && I MISS HER =(

*I HATE BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF DRAMA

*IM ALLERGIC TO BULLSHIT

*IM GOING TO RUTGERS THIS WEEKEND WITH JUICY LIPS ;)

*IM SO CLOSE TO QUTTING MY JOB

*ITS ABSURDLY COLD OUTSIDE && I DONT LIKE IT

*I THINK THATS ALL FOR NOW...
NOT TOO MANY GOOD THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN MY LIFE RECENTLY...MAYBE THAT COULD CHANGE???? HAHA WHO AM I KIDDING??

PEACE BITCHES <3

ahh florida was amazing. i had so much fun even after the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements on the bus. i didn't get a great tan though. i was kind of sad. i went on tower of terror and rockin roller coster. loved it. i cant wait to go back on my own time in july.

i got my progress report and am supposedly doing well. surprising.

i cant wait for school to be over so i dont have to worry about projects and homework and all those other gay things that apply to school.

so i was at the same party as my EX crush the other night and he fucked some girl right in the next room. i was kind of hurt. but i dont know if im being over dramatic or not. i felt like shit tho. especially cuz he knew how i felt. whatever boys suck.

desperate housewives season finale made me very angry. i have low expectations for next season. that also makes me sad.

too much to write and my hand is gunna fall off. haha goodnight <3

Tomorrow at 12 noon we'll be leaving for Florida!! I'm extremely excited and probably won't be able to sleep tonight =0 the 22 hour bus ride is gunna be interesting but hopefully not unbearable. I think I'll actually go on the rides this time =] hehe

oh boy. this weekend was crazier than i could've imagined.

well as im sure everybody knows, friday was 4/20. probably the one holiday that everybody at rhs celebrates haha. or at least knows about. bad thing was, i had work. do you think that stopped me?? haha hell no. it was fuckin crazy. kaitlin and caity were my down ass bitches on friday =]

yesterday was so hectic. i babysat my two little cousins till 11. they were off the wall till like 9:00. oh boy lol. but i love them so its ok. =] then i went to ashleys house party. shit was crazy. the cops showed up twice. i was freakin out. they left tho and then we continued to have some crazy ass fun. i wound up passed out at cynthias with no shirt on lol. dont ask. i had the worst hang over of my life today. i slept for 3 hours when i got home. when i woke i tried eating some chinese food and threw up. gross i know.

so i probably didnt make the best choices this weekend but i had an amazing time with amazing people. <333

happy 4/20 bitches!! it'll be over in 7 minutes but who cares haha. the party will last all weekend im sure. live it up =]

first of all...HAPPY BEALATED EASTER =]

spring break is good so far. i got my permit =] yay. i was extra excited but now i either have to practice on my moms mini van or my dads pick-up truck. there's no normal sized cars in my family haha.

last night was crazy. we partied at cynthias. except cynthia was sick so me and melissa just partied by ourselves lol.

i have work tonight after a week long break. not cool.

well other than that. same old shit, different day.

xoxox <3

i passed my permit test yesterday!! i was so relieved. i start my 6 hours on wednesday =0 hehe.

happy april fools day!! =p

nothing too new or excited. i got to see my baby cousins yesterday. =] adorable <33

P3@C3 OWT FO' NOW! hehe

nothing too new or exciting. i got to see my baby cousins on sunday. i was so excited. those boys put a smile on my face no matter what.

i got accepted into the Allied Health program at the Vo-tech in Scotch plains. im really excited to go for the half day next year. =]

i start my driving school on saturday. im a little nervous but my dads been practicing with me for a while so i hope it's not too bad =/

i got "hall swept" today. haha it was fucking hilarious. they held me in the cafeteria for like 35 minutes to give me an administrative dentention. what assholes. they're theory is never going to work with over 100 kids in detention every day. hahah

i need erica to dye my hair soon. the blonde's coming back =/

other than that, my life's been pretty boring. im excited that flordia is 2 months away =] i just need the warm weather so0o0o badly. i miss the summer.

~the end~

love sucks
friends suck
boys suck

end of discussion
goodnight

well, today is one of those mad-at-the-world days. it only started once i got home from school, figures. got into a screaming fit with both my mother and my cousin. long story short, be grateful if you weren't at my house today. and now i'm sitting here trying to write a 2 page essay due tomorrow and all i have so far are the first two sentences. this sucks.

hopefully the weekend will be better. possibly sleeping over erica's tomorrow night.

i've also noticed how most of the people that graduated in '06 are even more immature than those who are still in high school. so much drama has been going on with people who should've grown up by now. it's almost making me mad, and it has nothing to do with me. but whatever, its pathetic. and half of the arguiung is taking place on myspace. wow.

so there's my tid-bit of information for the day. hope everyone else is enjoying their day =]

nothing too exciting has been going on.

i was sitting here listening to "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men. And I always knew that song was really emotional but now everytime i hear it i just begin subconsciencely crying. I can't even control it anymore. I've been thinking about death a lot lately (no im not crazy) but lately i 've had dreams where both my sister and my cousins have died. I really hope this isn't some kind of bad sign that somethings gunna happen soon. I doubt it is but I just find it weird that I keep having these dreams.

School @ 10:30 all this week makes me =] thank god for hspa's and thank god im not taking them hehe. so i'll be staying at cynthias tonight. but first, wii would like to play. haha its calling my name =]

much love <3

just got home from skiing a little while ago. im in so0o0o0o much pain haha. too bad its not as easy as it looks. i unfortunately busted my ass. only once though. but then i came home and took a nice, long, hot bath and now im feeling a little bit better. NOT looking forward to school tomorrow though. i never did my history homework, im failing chemistry, and almost got kicked out of english class. school isn't my "thing" hahaha. oh well that sucks. now im off to bed. i love sleep. <3333


p.s. aquamarine is a GREAT movie. hehe "bull shark"

i had totally forgotten about livejournal for like 3 months haha. nothing new or exciting has been going on. I turned 16 on the 15th but other than that my life's been kinda boring. Still working at B'ronz...haha...aka hell! I'm really excited about the school trip to flordia in may. i hope it's even more fun than when i go with my family, im sure it will be though haha. I've been pretty pissed off that i've missed the last 5 weeks of grey's anatomy. luckily i had my uncle tape it for me last week because i knew it was going to be an intense episode haha. Right now I'm just really happy it's the weekend. I got to hangout with my girl erica yesterday. it was dope-alicious. and my psycho best friend snapped and started tryin to curse me out. i found it pretty entertaining but then she came bakc appologizing 3 hours later, like always. *sigh* some people are SO predictable. hahaha BECKY COMES HOME IN 2 WEEKS! yay! i miss her like CRAZY! but yeah, thats been my life for the past couple months.

p.s. i gave up alcohol for lent HAHAHAHAHAHA

well. i havent posted in a really long time. i think lol. well to start off, i hope everyone had a fucking awesome holiday and winter break and what not. i went to ny, went shopping, got my nails done, my hair cut, hung out with my love muffin <3 but nothing too exciting.

i dont have a new years resolution. =[

lately i've been feeling really "friend-less" for some reason. i mean i do have friends but like even me and my best friend ever have drifted. i've found that i can really talk to becky and thats about it and she does care unlike some of my selfish friends. i've been asking myself why am i friends with the people i call my friends. honestly they don't have many good qualities about them. there are a few good ones in the crowd. but basically all of the people who i used to be inseperable with, i choose not to hangout with them. my mom thinks i should find new friends and i've been doing well so far, i've hung out with erica and becky, both of whom are older than me, which is another problem i've run across. i have no friends my age, they're all at least 2 years older. i dont know why, and for the most part i think i relate to them better but obviously i would like friends who are still in school with me haha. but i love my older friends, and some of the younger ones too. im just going through this weird phase where im analyzing my relationship with people and im beginning to question myself on some of them. hopefully i'll be able to figure this out.

i had a good christmas. got lots of stuff. my new obsession is the wii and hopefully ill get it for my birthday because my mom couldnt find it anywhere for christmas. besides the fact that i just started my obsession about a week before christmas lol. also, what is this new craze with those webkiz things. my younger sister has one and its exactly like neopets except more high tech and the graphics are better. you pay 10 dollars for a stuffed animal that allows you to play with it online. i dont like it. but whatever. im sitting here thinking about children's toys and actually getting mad about it so ill just stop now. i may not post anything for a while but i hope everyone's doing well and my birthday is in a little over a month away! =]

well nothing too new and exciting.
im attempting to finish my american history report before 2am. there's a slim chance for that.

i dont have any christmas gifts for anyone, im going to hell. haha actually im going to the mall tomorrow with erica and christy. i plan on getting a lot of presents with my $36 christmas bonus from baron's haha they ruin my life.

my chemistry project still isn't finished i have about 3 hours to finish that too. ill probably pass out in about 2 hours and therefore im screwed for tomorrow. why would they give me so much work the week before christmas break. we have a full week of school, thats torture enough.

well thats just about it for now.

well. grandma's birthday was on saturday. i worked. went to go visit her on sunday. she basically rold me that if she doesnt die this year its going to be next year because she cant stand to have any more operations. nice right? i wanted to break down and cry right then and there, maybe she thought that would lift my spirits or something. it didnt. she's the closest person i have on my dad's side of the family. whatever. it just really made me feel like shit.

was going to skip school today and go to the mall with cyn, meli and kristen. turned out i only had to skip 8th and 9th period because it took them forever to get to fucking school to pick me up. i didnt know it coud take you 2 hours to do hair when all your doing is going to the mall. guess i was wrong. so i alternated between going to class and keeping isaiah comapny in the auditorium because he had already called out sick. crazy story. eventually they came and picked me up.

we went to the cemetary to visit Jane and Adrian. I didnt get emotional seeing adrians grave because i didnt really know him but once we got to jane's i couldnt help but cry. its been almost 2 years and i still get really upset thinking about. about the last time i saw her or how good of a friend she was to my sister. and the crazy blizzard movie we made in 7th grade. its amazing how all those things can be put to an end so quickly. but i guess the saying "only the good die young" is true.

well im going to bed now. although ill probably lay awake for a while, i've got a lot on my mind for some reason.

tonight was the dance concert at school. i think i did really well, especially since the rest of my class sucks haha. i finally got my pull backs down, my teacher will be very proud. i realized that dancing really is one of my passions in life. i love practcing and performing. it relieves a lot of stress for me. lol.

i think my parents are finally getting over this being grounded phase. they finally realize that it doesnt bother me that im grounded and there for they feel like grounding me is just useless. im going to a party tomorrow night and its russell's birthday! =] but the downfall of my weekend is the fact that i'll be staying at my dads with his annoying girlfriend, being gnagged to play scrabble and make cookies haha soo gay. hopefully it wont be totally unbearable.

the barons christmas dinner thing is next friday. i already talked erica into going with me and she wont back out. ill make sure of it. trish basically ruins my life every day i see her. i really cant stand it and i wish i had the balls to give it all right back to that hoe. one im gunna be pushed too far and will spaz out on her ugly ass.

christmas is 18 days away and i still dont have christmas gifts for anyone in my family. i feel bad but at the same time i dont. haha. we'll see

i've come to the conclusion that i have a serious problem. my body needs too much sleep. i think its unhealthy. i can barely function if i dont get at least 9 hours of sleep. which i usually get at night. then i sleep during chem. (which is why im failing) and then come home and take another nap. its really bad and im actually starting to get concerned because i really wanna be able to go out once im not grounded and not fall asleep at 10:30. it sucks =[

well my mom is officially one of the most annoying people i know...i hope erica finds an apartment so i have somewhere to run to when i cant handle her annoying ass anymore lol.

went to ihop (a.k.a. heaven) this morning. i really enjoyed it except for the shim/it that works there lol.

ericas coming over in a little while which was supposed to be a while ago except her dumbass never went home when she was supposed to lol but i love her anyway.

well my life is stupid right now. hopefully it will get better in about 80 minutes lol

i hate erica
but i love her at the same time...strange relationship i know. but its fate

snoop dogg is back in the pound as news reporters have told me. such ashame.

my moms a fucking psycho and i got yelled at for stopping at wendys on the way home from work. excuse me for not wanting to starve.

chick fight at school today was pretty intense.weave was abandoned on the floor.

my moms a fucking psycho. did i mention that already?
saw some rahway people at barons today...thats a new one.

AND IM ALREADY LOSING MY MIND. i cant stand my parents. they are treating me like im some "screw-up" as i call it. They have told my sisters to learn from my mistakes and make sure they dont end up like me. i make one mistake, can admit to it, and still get shunned from my family. they seem to have lost all hope in me, as if i dont do well in school, as if i dont aspire to do things with my life. and i 've given up on persuading them to believe it because it is a hopeless battle to fight. i dont even mind being grounded as much as the fact that they are treating me like a patient in a mental institute. like a bomb waiting to go off, so they run the other way. its bullshit and i dont know how much more of this i can take. they're trying to get the best of me and it might just work.

THEY'VE STOOPED TO A LOWER LEVEL THAN EVER BEFORE. they've now put two smirnoff bottles in the refrigerator and are trying to pass them off as mine. they want me to admit to something even worse and its not going to happen. first of all, i made damn sure that all the bottles were out of the house and second, we didnt even have watermelon smirnoff, which is what has magically appeared in the fridge. i love it. its making them crazy. and while i am slowly losing my mind, i wont let them see it. we'll see how long this goes on before i just tell them to fuck themselves and i get the fuck outta here.